Tag Archives: politics

An Open Letter To The US House Of Representatives

Sunday, December 3, 2017

Dear US House and Senate both,

Re: Tax Reform Bill

My name is Melissa Fields. I live in Santa Maria CA. This is my story.

I am 57 years old, and #Disabled. I am Autistic and also physically disabled due to debilitating hip, back, and knee pain, plus chronic lymhedema on both of my legs. In addition, I have a large lymphedema lump on the inside of my left thigh that is literally larger than the size of a basketball. It is every bit as firm as a basketball too. This greatly limits my mobility.

I am disabled by many Autistic sensory issues, to certain types of noise, touching certain things/foods, harsh lighting, certain music, and being around people when they are rude and unfriendly. I am also disabled because I can barely walk and badly need more than just my quad cane and walker to get around. I also have issues with executive functioning.

I have never been able to work at a job my entire life because my above disabilities have prevented me from being able to secure and keep a job.

I have lived on SSI, then Social Security Survivor’s benefits my entire adult life. In addition, I also depend on both Medicare and Medicaid for my healthcare, and in home caregiver that comes to help me six days a week.

In addition, the Olmstead Law has allowed me to be able to enjoy living in my own small cottage. My Section 8 Public Housing Assistance helps me so I can actually afford to pay my rent each month. A CARE discount that I get each month also allows me to be able to afford to pay my monthly utilities. I am proud that I have been able to live on my own without much undue hardship for the past 30 years of my life. Before my lymphedema got bad, I even drove and had a car from 1990 till 2012.

I am writing this on behalf of myself and all of my friends in the Disability Community who, like me, either cannot work, or who are going to school or through Vocational Rehabilitation, in an effort to gain employment.

I am writing on behalf of my Disabled friends who already are working, but still need help with healthcare, necessary medications, mobility equipment and personal care so they can keep their jobs.

I am writing this on behalf of all veterans who have fought for this country who need services.

I am writing on behalf of senior citizens who depend on Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Housing, and other vital programs that help with their quality of life. And yes, I fall into this category now.

Please don’t let this tax bill become law the way it is written. If it does, you will be forcing all of us who are poor, Disabled, elderly, etc. into grave undue hardship, homelessness, and death. Many will have to drop out of school, and stop working, and those of us who cannot work, who depend on our social safety net for our very survival, will be plunged into utter devastation and despair. Many of us, like myself, have no family to help us if this should happen.

If i don’t have personal in home care, I will cease to live.

Please. I urge you to think of the millions of real human beings this tax bill will be hurting. Please don’t cut Medicare and Medicaid. or Housing. Or tax those of us who can least afford it.

I am all for tax reform—but only the kind of tax reform that is truly just and fair for ALL of us.Me on September 27, 2014-2

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Please Understand, I Am Going Through A Very Bad Season Right Now–A New About Me Blog

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A blog by an Autistic adult.

And i don’t know how i am going to get myself back out of this now, because i feel as though the hole i am in now, is way too deep for me to climb out of by myself.

I feel an onslaught of fear and anxiety all the time now, and cannot rest. When i do rest, i want to stay asleep, and not wake up.

I am fearful that my caregiver is going to get fed up with me and quit me. She has become like a close sister to me, and i admit, i cling to her more than ever now, because when she is not here, i literally have nobody to turn to, to talk to, to bounce my ideas off of, to share my thoughts with. When she is here, i love to share my thoughts with her, and love it when she and i can talk, and when she gets me to laugh and giggle. I love it when she wears her hair down, and she lets me play in it and look at the colorful shines in her hair. (Yes, for those who don’t know, i love shiny hair. And she has beautiful long brunette-dark red shiny hair.) Whenever i feel that i may have displeased her in any way, it bothers me so much that my entire night gets ruined by my worrying and anxiety over whether i have made her angry or burnt out?

Today, i am once again way beyond tired. It has been like this every single day now, ever since the police last took the speed trailer away from me…the nice speed trailer i had from June 2nd through July 19th of last summer. When it was here, it became my friend too….because all of my life, to cope with a world that still mostly does not get Autistic people, i have made imaginary friends out of certain roads, highways, and certain electronics. It is hard to explain to those who don’t understand how my Autistic mind works, how profoundly traumatic that was for me to lose the speed trailer a second time. Lately, i seem to never get enough sleep each day, and i feel like going back to sleep when i wake up. This is a combination of the worry and stress about my still-festering, still-bad living situation,still not being able to have the speed trailer put back here, and my worry and anxiety over the way things have been since the orange tanned dicktator got inaugurated.

All i want to do these days, is to curl up into a ball and sleep…..and not wake up till this is all over. Till we have a nice President again. Till i have a way to be able to move from here.

I have changed in the past 6 years.

In 2010, i still was learning about my Autism, and ableism, and neurodiversity. In 2010, i still was a moderate Republican, even.

In January of 2012, i still had a deep Christian faith. And lots of hopes and dreams and goals for myself.

Today, yes, i still believe, but i no longer wear it on my sleeve like i used to. Nor do i like to preach about my faith anymore on my wall. Why, you may ask? Life happened between then and now; by 2012, i had gotten so badly hurt by one too many churches, and by some so-called Christian “friends”—–and i turned very cynical and bitter and angry. All of these life experiences, plus meeting all of you wonderful people on Facebook, has woken my mind up, and turned me into a flaming proud liberal progressive.

I also finally felt comfortable coming out as bi-sexual due to being on Facebook and meeting all of you awesome friends. I have always felt attracted to both women and men, and i did come out to two of my sisters and my mother, in the past.

In March of 2012, i went through a violent verbal and emotional separation of a friendship between me and a man who also professed a deep Christian faith, but he was a man who used me financially, and who would get in terrible mean moods with me every other month. In March 2012, he turned against me one final time, this time for good, and tried to get me kicked off of both YouTube and Facebook both. This was a trauma that i still have not healed from. His cruelty towards me, still causes me to have bad nightmares even today, of him. One cannot put a time limit on PTSD.

And then right on the heels of that, came a long string of very abusive caregivers…..from May 2012 to March 2014. Yes, i blogged about it all in a six part blog series. Those added to my trauma and PTSD.

Even though i now have a good caregiver, and she has been my caregiver now for 3 years, i fear that she too will turn on me and leave. (I wrote alittle bit about that fear at the beginning of this blog.) That fear is a great fear still, because so many people have done that to me in my life. I KNOW i am not easy to get along with. I have a great any rituals, routines, am set in my ways, phobias, fears, sensory issues, triggers, that go along with being Autistic. Most people cannot understand that, and even the ones who do, soon grow tired of me and leave me. This is because most people think of my meltdowns as a behavior issue and they yell at me to get me to stop—and that only ends up making my meltdowns even worse…..and longer-lasting.

I no longer drive. I had to stop driving in April of 2012, due to a growing lymphedema leg tumor on my left inner thigh, and due to me growing more and more fearful of going places by myself anymore.

Since then, i have been mostly housebound, and have been relying on caregivers to come to my home to help me, so that i can remain living in my own home.

To be honest, I am depressed now….and am living only as long as God keeps me here. But to be brutally honest, life has gotten to be an unbearable daily hell for me. On all levels. And it is getting worse. Especially now that we seem to have a whole new regime in Washington DC. A new regime that seems to be all levels of authoritarian—and honestly quite terrifying.

I am truthfully holding on by what is left of my faith…..hoping that God will just take me in my sleep soon.
In the meantime, while i am still on this earth, i will do all i can to fight for the rights of Disabled /Autistic and all marginalized groups of people till i draw my last breath. Because i love you all. You all mean the world to me.
Which is the reason why i post so many political posts now. And why i now have my TV glued to the more liberal cable news channels all the time now. Because i am Disabled/ Autistic, and i am deeply involved in Autistic / Disability Rights……and out of that, i have come to really care deeply about this planet and all of the people and animal and plant life that inhabit Mother Earth.
Because politics and Disability rights and issues are intersected. Politics and Disability rights are completely interwoven. Our healthcare, our benefits that we rely on. Are all at stake now.
Because….these are frightening times we are living in right now.
Because this is who i am.
Please understand.

A Political Post, Because….

Today, i plan not to watch MSNBC at all until tonight when i can watch Rachel Maddow, Lawrence O’Donnell, and Chris Hayes.

I will not be watching the inauguration. I repeat: I WILL NOT BE WATCHING THE INAUGURATION.

Because i do not support him nor do i call him my president.

He was not supposed to be elected.

Yes, i AM going to dwell on this, because again,
he was NOT supposed to be elected.
It is clear that Hillary Clinton had the popular vote, and clear as the hand in front of our faces that DJT is a
narcissistic racist,
sexually abusive,
physically abusive,
verbally abusive,
hot tempered, mean,
vindictive, malicious ruthless monster
who lies,
who goes back on his word,
who makes fun of women for their looks,
who body shames,
who pokes fun at Disabled people,
who thinks Muslims are all terrorists,
who plans to defund Planned Parenthood and ban abortions,
who plans to go right along with all of the Republicans who plan to make deep cuts to our social safety net and healthcare system that will end up ruining the lives of real human beings, and killing us….
who plans to ban the press from the White House
who seems to have a real love for, and connection to, Russia,
who also has a very authoritarian personality,
who has said he wants to strengthen our nuclear arsenal,
who has already managed to anger several nations,
who plans to do away with the climate change agreement,
who plans to do away with everything that protects women and all marginalized groups from hate and discrimination
who plans to take away the rights of LGBTQIA people
and turn our country back to the bad Dark Ages before FDR, Lyndon Baines Johnson, and the Civil Rights Movement……
who plans to cut access to the lifesaving medicine for those with HIV/AIDS, who are now able to live because of those meds…..the list goes on and on.

………and our electoral college was supposed to be there to PROTECT us from demagogues like him!!

Didn’t happen, did it?

My Thoughts On The Current State Of Country

The following are my thoughts, written as Facebook posts, on the current state of our country, as we head towards a dark period of God knows what.

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With this dark cloud of uncertainty hanging over my head that the new government could now actually get away with gutting the benefits for elderly and disabled people, me included, i am finding it increasingly harder to enjoy or even handle everyday life.

I cannot sleep. I am getting more frequent sick stomach spells. I was so afraid this would happen.

Why do the republicans seem to hate us so much?

There has to be a way, please, to keep trump and the republicans from hurting us like this.

I do not have the spoons to get on the phone and call my state senators. It is hard for me to talk on the phone. Very hard. Especially if people talk too fast and are rude and impatient with me.

God, if you are still on the throne, please don’t let them take our only safety net we have away. I don’t want to be forced to live either on the streets or in a nursing home where i could get abused again. I love my IHSS and the in home caregiver i have. I love being able to live in my own home. Don’t i have that right? Do they not realize we are human beings??? That they are hurting real human beings????

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I have just begun to fight. I can’t make phone calls, but as i have the spoons, i can write and post on the pages of our senators and representatives, and get the message out there that WE ARE HERE, we are real human beings, and we have a voice—-and it is LOUD!!!

They will NOT take our safety net away!!!!

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I am for a single payer Medicare for all, if it includes the ability for Disabled people to be able to have in home support services, like we now do on Medicaid.

They can call the new program Medicaid if they want—-either way, it should be all inclusive to cover, all medical care, vision care, dental care, in home support services, prescriptions, all of it. They can call it anything they want, just make it a single payer healthcare for all.

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Note to all in our House Of Congress:

If you run for the Office of congress to work for us, this means LISTENING to us, NOT SHUTTING US OUT AND SHUTTING AND LOCKING YOUR DOOR TO US!!!!

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I sincerely feel our country needs a whole new system of governance. The current two-party system and capitalism has failed us, miserably.

I also feel our country should be divided into provinces, like Canada is.

Rich people should be required to pay the most taxes, because they can afford it. This will provide money for infrastructure, education, college education, healthcare for all, decent, affordable housing for all, and a secure and expanded living safety net for all of those who are elderly, disabled, and veterans who fought for our country in wars that should not ever have been.