Tag Archives: I’m Autistic & My Voice Matters

When You Do Blue Lives Matter, Or All Lives Matter, It Is A Slap In The Face To Black People

Image by Roy Smith Jr. Two flags, one American, and the other is the black and white blue lives matter flag. Text reads: This is the American flag. This is a gang symbol. Section 176 Respect For Flag, The flag should never have placed upon it, nor on any part of it, nor attached to it, any mark, insignia, word, figure, design, picture or drawing of any nature, including discoloration.

Hello everyone. Plus, it is illegal AF.

Okay. Yeah. I am sharing this because Ima tell you a little story about the flag on the right in this above picture.

Just imagine if you will, that you are Black, you are the surviving family member of a Black person whose life ended needlessly because a sadistic racist police officer decided he was going to shove them into the ground and shove their knee into their neck with the deliberate intent to kill them, just for a routine traffic stop. While his partners watched, and said nothing. #GeorgeFloyd

Or you are the surviving member of the family of #BreonnaTaylor, whose home was broken into by bloodthirsty racist police, in a No Knock warrant, only guess what? They got the wrong house, but because Black people lived there, Breonna Taylor got shot and killed anyway.

Instead of those police officers involved being brought to justice, they get acquitted. Then still allowed to be police officers. Instead of heartfelt condolences, people flew this ugly black and white flag with the blue stripe, and said Blue Lives Matter, All Lives Matter, and oh, Colin Kaepernick hates America because he kneeled.

Would you not feel like you have just been slapped cold and hard, and repeatedly, in the face?

Sure, all lives matter, but it is Black people who have been given the absolute lowest of the lowest rung of the ladder by y-t people. For 400-plus fucking years.

This is why this flag represents even more in the way of hate and dismissiveness of Black people’s pain and hurt. This is why we have the #BlackLivesMatter movement now

I hope this really hits you in the core of your heart today.

A Perfect Autistic Hell

Please imagine what it would be like if you were sitting at your computer, you were a 57 year old autistic adult, and you were housebound, unable to go anywhere because of your legs,and on the other side of the wall behind your computer was an eight foot tall giant round steel encased subwoofer bass speaker turned all the way up, throbbing and thumping like louder than hell thunder right overhead..

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That is exactly what my entire afternoon was like yesterday.

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That is what noises that are sensory issues to an autistic person are like. Especially when the loud subwoofer bass was used as a weapon to terrorize me by the bullies in the auto shop two decades ago, along with their loud souped up motors on their motor vehicles, just because they have always felt it a sport to do the things they know will cause me to scream and yell hysterically, and in sheer agony, because to see me in agony is sheer fun to these men. And it still is sheer fun to them.

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This loud bass that i had to endure and suffer with all of yesterday afternoon, was actually three blocks North of my house at a park—and even though a sweet young female presenting police officer went over to that park to ask them to turn that bass down, they turned it up all the more,and they turned it even LOUDER as they were closing at five PM yesterday afternoon. In fact, this bass was still going on at 4 minutes after the 5:00 PM quitting time.

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I spent my entire afternoon in utter agony because of this bass. This bass was just like being forced to have my entire head squeezed into a tight grip to where i feel it is going to explode from the thunderous vibrations going on right inside of it. My ears get turned into vibrating mini subwoofers.

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It was only after that sweet officer came to my house to let me know they would be taking care to see to it that it didn’t get out of hand again, AND that they were going to be shutting it down at 5 PM, that i calmed down somewhat.

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My mom and i both kept calling the police to get them to stop this awful noise. My mom even told them she was afraid i would end up having a stroke, because i was Literally. That. Upset.

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Finally at 5:04 PM, when it was even louder, i called again.

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Only this time, the dispatcher transferred me to the watch commander. My hell became horror when a lieutenant who does not like me picked up the phone.

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I made the mistake of trying to talk to him. I began by telling him i am autistic, as he knows, that i was scared to speak to him, because i heard he was mean, and he became angry right away, telling me:

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“Is this about the beerfest going on at the park and the loud music they’re playing? if so, it is closing down, and you will just have to sit there and put up with it till they stop.”
I told him that it was louder than ever, it was unbearable, and what it was causing me, which was PAIN.
His response: “I don’t care, we’ve already sent an officer over, and we’re not going to send another one. You will just have to put up with the noise till they stop.”
I asked him “Don’t you understand autism at all?”
He got angry again: “Look, i’m not going to sit here and argue with you—”
Me: “I’m not trying to argue with you. I am trying to educate you about autistic people and what it’s like—”
He cut me off: “I don’t need to be ‘educated’! I already know what i’m doing—-”
I said: “But i am trying to make more friends at the police dept.!”
Him: “I’m not here to be your ‘friend’! I already KNOW you, you have a long history of having problems at that address, and frankly, i have no time for your problems!”
Me: “Can’t you have any compassion? Police need to have compassion—”
Again he cut me off: “Look, i don’t HAVE to have ‘compassion’ on anyone, and i don;t have any compassion on you. I’m not going to do anything to help you. I am hanging up now.”

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CLICK!!!!

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I have been one hot mess ever since that awful exchange with that police monster—-which is just what he is. People like him, and dispatchers who are also shrill and rude, are the reason why we become afraid to call the police, or to even say hi to them and smile at them when we see them. It affects me on all levels, and deeply when people are rude, dismissive, shrill, harsh, and try to silence me and invalidate my feelings. I literally feel i don’t matter anymore when i get treated and talked to like that lieutenant treated me.

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People like him have no business getting promoted to police lieutenant, or being allowed to interact with the public, if they cannot have compassion and know how to treat others like human beings.

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The way he treated me and muzzled me and completely invalidated my agony, was nothing but inhumane, and it has caused me terrible PTSD flashbacks all night long.

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The Santa Maria Police Department should be ashamed of themselves for allowing their officers to treat the people they are hired to protect and serve like we don’t matter.

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They should not promote officers who are known to have a negative attitude. Period. Full stop.