Tag Archives: autistic and caregiver abuse

Multitudes-A Way Too Long List Of Things Broken And Taken By My Past Caregivers

Posting this mainly for my records. Because the two people, a brother and sister, whom i let into my home and trusted to care for me from July 7, 2018 through June 21, 2019, took so much from me that i am only now way too slooooooowly trying to replace.

Things The Brother Broke 

*A shiny black and silver chrome butterfly candle wax scent burner i had in my kitchen that i really enjoyed because—butterflies—the nice scents that filled my house—and the way it lit up my kitchen counter where it sat.

*A large one quart sized glass pitcher with Cobalt Blue trim that i used to keep all of my rocks in.

*One large office-sized stapler

*One purple electronic rechargeable Swifferjet mop

*A green Hoover upright vacuum cleaner with attachments, i had bought in 2012, with money from the sale of my car.

*My Klipsche computer speakers and subwoofer that i had on my desktop computer, I really enjoyed the way they sounded. He replaced those speakers with speakers that are hard to adjust the volume on, and they are also quite shitty-sounding.

Things The Brother AND Sister Both Took/Stole/Misplaced

This is a quite long list, folks, so grab a cup or glass of your favorite beverage, iced, or warm, and relax and read on, please.

*A five step step ladder i had also purchased in 2012 with the money i had from the sale of my car.

*Two large green travel duffle bags i had purchased from Amazon

*A large black canvas suitcase on wheels with handle that a friend bought for me

*One small zipper travel carrying case big enough to carry all makeup, cosmetics, medications, vitamins, etc., in case i travel

*A $25 dollar complete manicure-pedicure case i also bought on Amazon—i did finally replace that this month.

*Five adult coloring books that a friend and my sister both bought for me

*Two decorative plastic bowls i bought to organize and keep my coinage change in. One was teal blue, the other white with teal blue fish on it.

*A full length mirror i had bought in 2007 at Target.

*One of my heavy duty beige-colored folding chairs is still missing.

*One twelve piece screwdriver set i also bought on Amazon—i also just replaced that this month.

*A 17″ HP computer monitor

*One 54 set of multi-colored gel pens for coloring

*All of my fine tip and wide tip Crayola markers for drawing, art.

*Most of my multi-colored Sharpies

*All of my highlighter pens

*All of my sketch pads i would do my drawing and art on

*All of my multi-colored file folders

*Two pairs of my good scissors

*Two rolls of tape, one duct tape, the other packaging tape

*One of two of my small trash cans-it is hot purplish pink

*Four tubes of Remedy Olovamine Anti-Fungal Cream

*One seven ounce tube of Silva-Sorb wound care ointment

*Ativan—my Ativan pills were always counting as less pills in the bottle than my refill amount. The last time i got a refill it was for 90 pills. 90 pills in a refill—yet when i counted them a few days later, i ended up with 86 pills. I had not taken any of my Ativan at that time, and was using my CBD oil instead to control my anxiety. As of Brother’s last day working for me, i had only three Ativan pills left, and i had not taken but maybe ten pills all told out of the 90 pill refill for my use. Just 3 pills are now left in a bottle that was supposed to at least have 80 left by now, because, that was all of the pills i personally took from that bottle.

*Candy–several pieces missing from bags of—
–three red bags of Lindor Truffle Chocolates,
–one quarter of a jumbo bag of Mars Minis (includes miniature snack sized 3 Muskateers, Milky Way, Milky Way Midnights, Twix, and Snickers),
–most of the mint and caramel chocolate squares also missing from a bag of Ghiradelli chocolates that my friend and past caregiver, Connie Carter gave to me for my birthday this year

*Other candy from my candy dish in living room

*Other candy from my candy drawers
—peanut butter M&M’s
—Reeses white chocolate peanut butter cups
—Reeses regular chocolate peanut butter cups
—Handfuls of my assorted hard candy

*Food—i would find my pepperoni pizza Hot Pockets routinely missing

*My red Solo cups

*Cleaner/Air Freshener—i would routinely find my Windex, lemon Lysol cleaner, and Febreze gone, and out in the garage room

*several of my C-cell, AA, AAA batteries,

*several flourescent curly cue light bulbs,

*one of my power failure lightbulb lights that look like a lightbulb and socket

*my canned air that i use to clean out my computer

*electronic wipes

*One soft black knit cap that my mother bought for me

*Two light velour, velvety-textured blankets my mother bought for me. One is a full blanket, and is dark forest green-colored, the other two are lap and shoulder wraps, and are a dark rusty red color.

*8 large bath towels

*10 washcloths

*two kitchen towels

*My birth certificate

*10 copies of my SSI re-evaluation paperwork from 2005 and 2007

*One long wand Swiffer duster

*Two brooms

*Two dustpans

*One 12 pack of soft white crew socks

*One 60-ounce blue Correlle or Pyrex mixing bowl

*Two white plastic coffee mugs

*3 small steak knives

*Several carving and cutting knives

*Several pieces of silverwear, teaspoons, forks, tablespoons, butter knives

*My measuring spoons are also all gone

*Two kettles/pots

*Two cooking skillets

*I used to have a collection of over 55 music CD’s, 55 plus books, and all of those are also gone

*All of the old clothing i used to have is also gone now—several cute tops, and pants that i knew would fit me if i ever were to lose enough weight to fit in them again, so i would not have to purchase new ones

*Four dark blue money pouches

*Two boxes of staples that go with my stapler that he broke, all of my staples are all gone now too.

*3 packs of large manila envelopes

*2 packs of medium sized manila envelopes

*2 boxes of Mead white legal sized self adhesive privacy envelopes

*2 boxes of small Mead white envelopes

*A red ruler, and green ruler, are also gone

*10 large white poster boards

Things They Took That They Did Return

*A small crystal cross

*My desk drawers

*My artwork and art portfolio

*Three of my four heavy duty beige folding chairs

*my white Hoover carry vacuum that belonged to my grandmother, and is over 40 years old

*My green Living Bible

*Some of my colored file folders

*Some of my Sharpies

*The wing that broke off of my angel that is in my bedroom

But the above things that they broke and took from me, are all things that, either i myself worked hard to buy out of my own pocket, things that were given to me by friends, my mom and one of my sisters, and things i already had that i needed to keep on hand—-now i have to work to replace ALL of it. And i doubt i can do so without some sort of a financial miracle.

In Home Care Providers who are tasked to care, but who instead come in and take over a clients’ entire home and even herself—-then use and steal from that person who is sick, vulnerable,  disabled, and on a fixed low income, need to be held strictly accountable, placed into prison, and then made to work to pay that person back for everything they broke and took from that person.

Every single thing that they took and stole from me.

I now need to go apply to get a whole new birth certificate. All of my SSI paperwork is gone now too.

I have canary yellow walls that wake me straight up out of a sound sleep too early in the morning, on bright sunny mornings, because of their brightness.

I was routinely told by that brother and sister that my autism was not real, that my physical mobility limitations were just me being “lazy” and trying to get my way, that i was just being mean and demanding and spoiled. Told that i didn’t appreciate them and all they did for me.

When i was asking them to accomodate my disabilities.

I still have nightmares almost nightly, about this brother and sister, who came into my life, telling me they were going to be the friends and family that i have never had, and always have longed for—then, once i put my trust in them, they turned around and took full on advantage of me, and took FROM me.

While i spent 3 long weeks away from my home, so that he could rip all of my carpets out and refurbish the hardwood floors underneath, and paint my living room walls the nice sift blue or lavender that i requested he paint them—-they were spending much of that time with both brother and sister partying till all hours of the night and morning in my garage room. And painting my walls a color they knew i hated–hate.

Also realizing that they basically took much of my time away from my home to completely comb through all of my personal papers, documents, etc., and take even those from me. To actually use against me!

To realize that that job of taking my carpets out, then refurbishing the hardwood floors underneath, should of only taken at least a week at the MOST for them to do—but it took the brother and sister team an entire three weeks—with me up at his house staying with his mom and his girlfriend, where i was badly uncomfortable—-that was not okay.

The yellow walls in my living room were not okay, and are still not okay.

The constant gaslighting i got from this brother and sister,
the way they were always dismissing my needs and requests,
and dismissing the way that I liked for things to be done for me, IN MY OWN HOME,
the daily promises they would make to pay me back for the stuff and money they took,
then they’d break those promises
the daily making promises that we would go this place and that, then
suddenly the plans would change, and or she would take the car we were to go in
so then we could not go that place or this place
the daily circus of them always being late without letting me know,
their phones shutting off and going straight to voice mail,
the constant worry of are they going to leave me without a way to get to dialysis, a way to eat,  or are they going to leave me stranded at yet another medical or mental health appointment
the daily battles just to be heard and seen, to really be heard and seen by them,
the daily battle to make them see my autism, see and believe my autism, see and believe my physical disabilities
all of my things being moved, and gone, all of my things and plans and routines—always being moved, always taken, always gone, always messed with
my head always being messed with, my head, my emotions, my feels, always being fucking messed with
the constant changing of schedules, the constant upheaval—not to mention the large sums of money they took from me, from my duffle bag, and from me, they asked for it all the time—
—when i would come home with five hundred in my duffle bag, and end up next day with $180 of that because one of them snuck in and took from my wallet while i was sleeping
their unpredictable temperament—one day we would all be okay, the next day, even sometimes the next minute—suddenly i was being yelled at and scolded again
I was often yelled at and scolded by them
i was expected to act and do their idea of normal neurotypical
if i didn’t, i was told about it loudly and with shame inflicted upon me
this has all affected my kidney dialysis, has even affected me being able to go in to get the surgery  that i STILL need to get a permanent kidney dialysis access port placed in one of my arms, so i can finally be free of this awful chest catheter.

I am still reeling greatly from the effects of having the brother and sister as my care providers. I am reeling mentally, emotionally, and financially. My credit cards? Are all still maxxed out. I feel as if i have been placed deep into a dark hole that i will now never be able to climb out of. And this hurts on all levels. And brings me to a depth of DAILY despair that i can still not put words to to fully describe the daily agony and anguish i walk with. Because of the blatant and deliberate intentional cruelty of a brother and sister who kept telling me how much they loved and treasured me.

I have only been able to replace some of the towels they took, and a few other things. But i need so much more still.

This is not okay.

I am going to keep on writing. It’s the only sure thing that i still have of being able to process through all of this garbage i had to live with day in and out for the past year.

One good piece of news is that i do have Connie back in my life now too. She was my caregiver for four years, from March of 2014 to March of 2018, and only quit because she got an excellent job offer that she could not turn down. She came back when the brother suddenly turned on me, leaving me with no way to get my breakfast, and no way to get to dialysis on June 22, 2019.

The caregiver abuse that i have suffered, sadly happens to far too many disabled and elderly disabled people. Serious reform needs to happen so this can finally be stopped.