Tag Archives: Autism

Still Scared, Very Scared

I honestly do not know how much more of this i can take.

I am okay as long as the speed radar trailer is here on my street. But my police dept. has failed in letting me know who my new beat coordinator is. I finally Googled it, and found out that way who he is. My last beat coordinator was supposed to let me know AND he was supposed to introduce him to me. He never did either.

They don’t let me know whether i can have a working speed trailer here on a regular basis for the sake of my health, because without it, the street is so wild i have meltdowns which leave me physically ill—i need to know.

The speed trailer is still here, and i am very grateful it is here….but all i get from the police is silence and he not knowing when or if it will get taken away from me again. The stress of not knowing is getting to me.

I am not posting this to badmouth anyone, but yes, i am upset that police depts. do not do a much better job than this so that REAL bridges are built between them and us….ALL of us, and that includes Disabled people, shut-ins, Black and Brown people, rich, poor, homeless, elderly, etc.

REAL community policing means actual OPEN LINES OF COMMUNICATION between police and us, not this never ending silence, and no answers to my phone calls and emails——and me left hanging as to what’s going to happen next.

I DREAD the day they take this speed trailer away from my street. I SO dread that day. I would hope they would place another working one here, and also place that one on my side of the street where i can see it working.

I also need to get out of this house more often than i do. I used to love going out to eat, going to the movies, going to church, and going to the ocean. I do not get to do any of that anymore, except eat out maybe once a month if i’m lucky, and this gets to me greatly too….because i get so lonely to be able to be around people and involved in my community.

Below is another picture of the RU2 Fast 870 speed radar trailer that is still on my street, but for how much longer, i don’t know.

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Seriously, Where Has All The Love Gone?

I love that i am once again able to put money in my rainy day savings. I love it that i now don’t have that awful constant fight-or-flight urge to hop a bus to nowhere that i used to have. I love it that i now have a caregiver who really sincerely cares about me.

I found out that JuJu, my last caregiver, was going into one nearby restaurant and complaining to the ppl who work there about me every single time she would go in to get me food for my dinners. AND that she was always telling me my bill was higher than it actually was!! So she could pocket the money!!

JuJu also was mean and rude to the ppl at the Walgreens where i get my scripts for my meds. Also, i found out i don’t have to pay out of pocket for my Ativan, that my Medicare Part D pays for it!! JuJu lied about that too, so she could pocket that money too!! JuJu was mean and rude to alot of ppl on my behalf.

I am so glad i don’t have JuJu anymore as my daily nightmare.

I am so glad i didn;’t follow the yellow brick road to Michigan either, as the circumstances were not right in any way, shape or form at this time for me to do that either.

But ya know what? I fail to see why this world is growing to be so ugly and callous and uncaring to those who are most vulnerable. Churches especially, where one would think that we could turn to to get help, also turn us away like we are lepers. Many of our own families even turn us away, and ignore us, hoping we will just fade off into oblivion if they ignore us enough.

It’s really freaking sad that society has stopped caring.

I do not suffer from my Autism….i suffer from the hate, abuse, and harsh misjudgement i get from most of society.