I have spent the past several hours sleeping, and plan to sleep more.
I sleep all the time because i am not happy anymore.
I need the police to be real allies to me.
I need for them to stop ignoring me.
I need to have the speed trailer back on my street.
I need for my legs to work again, for this awful leg tumor to be gone.
I need for my next door neighbors to hurry up and move, because of the tension they still cause for me.
I need in real life local friends who will be willing to take me places so i can get out of this box once in a while.
I need for my family to wake up and start caring and understanding and accepting me as i am.
I need them to learn about my Autism and understand it once and for all.
I am tired on all levels.
It is a deep tired of all of my lifetime goals being lost to me.
A deep tired of not having things to look forward to and hope for anymore.
I dread each day because of the street noise and the next door neighbors.
This needs to change.
It isn’t just me, it is many elderly and disabled people who are in this same or similar boat.
Society throws us away and ignores us because we are too inconvenient to them.
We need for you to all care, to get in the cubby hole under the stairs and sit there with us, when we go in there, instead of yelling at us to get out of there.
What harm would it do to let me play with your shiny hair, big sister?
What harm would it do to listen to the story i have told, to see why i told it, to understand why i told my story—-which is because you all have essentially left me to live alone and lonely my whole life, always on the outside, always on the fringes.
I was always the last one to know things.
Please don’t tell your Autistic/Disabled children/kids/relatives
that they will never date
never have a job
never have friends or romantic relationships
or that they don’t know what’s going on or how to think for themselves
that is Othering and making us feel like we are wrong, less than and don’t belong when we DO belong.
Children are developing human beings, and even though we may develop at a different pace, does not mean we won’t be able to do all the above things.
We are still human beings, capable of great success, all our families have to do is BELIEVE in us and not ignore and discard us to sit alone in our rooms.
Many a time i would sit alone in my room and cry wondering why you all hated me?
God made us, and God did not make and does not make mistakes, so why do you so easily discard us?
Think about it….please listen to me because my health is now failing and i honestly do not know whether i will be around that much longer because of my health issues.
Yes, i needed to write this.
Yes, everyone needs to read this and take this to heart.
I do not want to be alone anymore. It hurts like hell to be alone.
This is why i have turned to certain roads, highways and electronics and made them imaginary friends.
This is why i made a friend out of the speed trailer when it was here.
I hope and pray i get that back within the next two weeks, maybe even this week.
Yes, because it’s my friend and i feel it protects me when it is here.
I loved to sit outside and watch it working, so i hope it goes back on my side of the street again where i can easily watch it working again.
But it also makes people drive the speed limit, even slower, and lessens the loudness of the noise, and it also takes care of the loud hot rodding too.
Please, God, let this week be the start of life getting better for me again.
My Go Fund Me: https://www.gofundme.com/2ckkdc4