Author Archives: melissaautisticfields

About melissaautisticfields

Hi, i am a middle-aged autistic lady who lives on the Central Coast of CA. I love to draw, write, read, and also love all kinds of rock and alternative music. I love to travel, but haven't gotten to in a long time..would love to be able to see NYC, the East Coast and the Great Lakes states someday. I am writing a book about my life as an autistic, and i hope to get it published. I am not perfect, but i do have a deep faith and feel that without God, i am nothing.


From 2014…a must read!!

#StopCombatingMe: Reform Combating Autism Act

Nattily from Notes on Crazy

Seriously, I'm not fighting it. You don't have to rescue me.

My identity is not your enemy. #StopCombatingMe

When I was seven or eight, a friend told me that some people have “photographic memories” and explained what that meant. She dove into the pond. I sat on the dock and thought to myself, “That’s what I have. I have a photographic memory.”

When I was in high school I read a webcomic mentioning “super-tasters.” I looked it up, thought about it for a while, and thought to myself, “That’s what I am. I’m a super-taster.”

When I was in thirteen, people in my middle school started calling each other “gay” as an insult. I still hadn’t had the sex talk, and I spent most of my free time thinking about what exactly sex was, since I knew I was supposed to know about it and it wasn’t ok to ask. I didn’t know what gay…

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The Teacher’s Kid – It’s not what you think…

Thirty Days of Autism

I had the opportunity this evening to enter into a discussion with a colleague: a fellow teacher who is also the parent of a five-year-old Autistic son.

So as we talked this man commented, “It is great that you are a teacher – I’ll bet you’ve been able to be a great advocate for your son within the school system. Our kids are fortunate.”

And I suppose this is true in many respects: my understanding of the system has supported us in navigating it in varying degrees and I recognize that it has been an advantage.

But… the thing is… that is not actually how I responded.

I might have caught him off-guard when I said, “No… my son has benefitted much more from my being a Social Justice Activist. Teacher-smeacher! It is ACTIVISM that has made the difference. Our Autistic, Neurodivergent, and otherwise disabled children need us to show…

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I Just Don’t Do Well…

All of this!! I need to know i have freedom of choice. Just because we are disabled, does not mean we don’t have the same rights to autonomy as able-bodied people do.

Health on Wheels: The Journey To A Better Me

electrical outletThe weird thing was it wasn’t throughout my whole house. On a Saturday morning a few months ago, I noticed something strange soon after I woke up. There was no electricity in my bedroom or my office, but the rest of the house was fine. At first, I thought it would be a simple fix. Fuses have certainly blown before. The problem is, the box is in my storage shed outside and it is too high for me to reach. Complicating the issue was that I didn’t have any caregivers scheduled for the day and that a caregiver had inadvertently broken my phone a few days beforehand, losing my contact list in the process. The phone numbers of my handyman and friends who might have been able to come over quickly were not etched in my memory. I had a new phone on that day, but not really any way…

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I Don’t Want To Be Alone Anymore

From two Facebook posts i made just now……

Post One

I had a VERY weird dream while i slept. it was a nightmare, in fact.

I dreamed that i was alone here. Connie had gone home. It was night, but strangely still light outside, and it was overcast, misty, and wet outside. In fact, the outside had the blue tint of dusk settling in when it’s cloudy and overcast.

Suddenly i saw a group of cars crowd outside where the appliance shop used to be, and all over the street. Then i heard a gunshot, followed by someone yelling in pain. Then another gunshot, followed by another yell from that person, who had a male voice.

I got scared, frightened, but couldn’t move out of my chair where i was sleeping. I was literally paralyzed in fear.

I finally managed to get out of my chair and use my computer chair to block my view so no one from outside could see me, and i tried my best to call 911. I got a male presenting dispatcher, but could not hear them.

Suddenly, one of the bad men came into my carport and began to banshee yell and kick the outer security door on the door to my middle room. He kept kicking the door and yelling. Then more of them came right into my yard.

I tried again to get 911 on the phone and couldn’t even get my words out.

I awoke from this dream at 11:32 PM, to find that my small alarm clock was blinking. Which meant i must of had a power glitch while i was asleep. My clock on my answering machine was fine, and my DR showed no interruptions in the recording of the two newscasts i record every night to watch when i wake from my after dinner sleeptime.

I have come to the conclusion that i don’t want to live alone anymore.

ESPECIALLY NOT HERE in this neighborhood where i do have neighbors who do NOT have my back at all….but neighbors who are mostly all either the type to not get involved, or they are the mean ones who torment and bully me.

I at least want to live where i have nice neighbors surrounding me who are the kind who will adapt me and actually look out for me, while i still live in my own house. Then it won’t be so bad living in my own house by myself.

I am ALL alone tonight, and yes, i am scared right now.

Post Two

I am really having a bad night tonight. My TV reception began cutting out, searching for satellite signal was coming on, TV screen pixelating and freezing,—-and it isn’t even stormy here—-AT ALL!!!!

It’s fine now, not doing it anymore—– but yeah—after the nightmare i just had, and discovering that my power had glitched while i was sleeping, well, everything is spooking me right now and yes, i AM all alone here, isolated with no one nearby in this neighborhood to call if i have problems—yes, i could call Connie if i have real problems, but i don’t want to ruin her sleep just because tonight i happen to be scared and need someone here to be with me because i am just scared.

I just don’t like how i am feeling tonight.

I want to cry.

I really do want to move where i have nice neighbors around me day and night who will care and look out for me. I don’t want to live in this aluminum hot rod and mean bully alley anymore.

Last Year, Versus This Year

Yes, this is another political rant. Because it’s relevant to my life and the livs of my disabled/Autistic comrades.

Last Year

Barack Obama, our 44th president, paved the way, and opened many doors for us.
*Same sex marriage is now legal in all 50 states.
*He signed legislation making it illegal to discriminate against LGBTQIA people.
*He wanted universal healthcare for all.
*He wanted to expand both Social Security and Medicare.
*He lowered interest rates so that more people could afford to buy homes.
*He made the Affordable Care Act the law of the land. No, it’s not perfect, and it is fixable, but it should NOT be taken away again.
*He was working to bring back community policing.
*And childcare for single working mothers.
*He did away with the subminimum inhumane wages that employers were getting away with paying Disabled people and did much to improve the rights of Disabled people, and strengthen the Americans With Disabilities Act.
Now, unfortunately, a *creature* has taken over who threatens all of this and even more devastating actions that will threaten the lives of poor people, Muslims, Disabled people, elderly people, veterans, women, People Of Color, LGBTQIA people, and even the very fabric of our Constitution itself.
Even freedom itself.
I refuse to let that creature win. I will die fighting him.
I will fight for our Democratic party to rise up and become our party again.
Though i am not able to give financially, or march in protests, i can still speak out as long as i have the internet and a computer.
I am a proud progressive liberal who will not rest until i see the above things i listed be the law of the land.
The rich and wealthy should all be made to pay more taxes, because they can afford it—-so that all of us can have decent lives who otherwise would not be able to have decent lives. Poor people. Elderly people. Disabled people. Veterans. Children.
So that our aging and crumbling infrastructure can be repaired and rebuilt.
So that this nation can become a place where all of us can be truly free to pursue life, liberty, happiness, and success.
So that our nation will become truly inclusive of everyone, whether Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Muslim, Agnostic, Atheist, heterosexual, LGBTQIA, People Of Color, Disabled, Elderly, children, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, and so on.
I will not stop fighting for these things, because we have come a long way.
And i’m not going to lie; we still have a long way to go.
But we cannot afford to go back to things the way they were before Barack Obama became our 44th and best president, ever.
We cannot afford to go back to the way things were before we had a good social safety net for our most vulnerable citizens.
We cannot allow this creature to wall us in and prevent people from coming to The United States Of America to have a better life.
We also cannot ignore the racism, violence, racial profiling, and murders of Black people that is still continuing to happen.
So we fight.
And we fight as hard as we can. Doing what we can do and are able to do.
We cannot let that authoritarian creature win.

This Year

And one year later, now that the neon orange creature has been here one full year, he has worked to dismantle many of the good things Obama did for us.

*He took us out of the Paris Climate Accord.
*He has managed to piss off every one of our allies, and alienating us from these countries for the first time ever.
*He has dismantled the Iran Agreement.
*He has dangerously escalated tensions between us and North Korea, and now, for the first time since WWII, we face the threat of nuclear annihilation.
*He has repeatedly come to the defense of Neo-Nazi, and white supremacist groups who are hell bent on violence towards those who are Jewish, Muslim, and PoC.
*He enacted a racially motivated travel ban against seven Middle Eastern countries, even though none of them pose any threat to our country.
*He tried, unsuccessfully, to ban transgender people from serving in our military.
*He has dismantled hundreds of Federal protections for LGBTQ people, PoC, Seniors, Disabled people, veterans, food safety, and our environment itself.
*He signed a tax bill that is set to go off a like a bomb within two years or less, and start hurting, gravely hurting, those who are poor children, PoC, veterans, disabled, elderly and middle class people. The rich and wealthy? Will never be affected by this Draconian tax scam bill—in fact, they will prosper even more, off the backs of all the rest of us.
*He is set to dismantle net neutrality
*He is set to dismantle heating assistance for poor people.
*He wanted to do away with Meals On Wheels for seniors, also. I don’t know if he has succeeded in doing that or not.
*He has tried several times to repeal the Affordable Care Act, plus gut Medicaid for over 800 million poor, elderly, and disabled Americans.
*He has cruelly ignored the plight of Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria devastated the tiny island, instead, he mocked them and mocked and then snubbed the mayor of San Juan. He thought it was “cute” to stand there and throw rolls of paper towels into a crowd of Puerto Rican citizens, and called it helping. HA! 
*He has done away with DACA, and now as of March, if no one steps in to save DACA, millions of Dreamers who came here as children, will be forced to go back to countries they don’t know, because they were brought here as infants and toddlers.
*He is set to weaken the Americans With Disabilities Act.
*He has already signed legislation making it harder for nursing home residents and their families to file abuse complaints.

*He is set to turn our entire coastlines into unisghtly oil drilling machines, where instead of clean ocean waters, you will now see rows and rows of oil drilling rigs dotting the horizon. This will further pollute Mother Earth.
*He is set to also turn much of our protected lands, and even National Park lands into oil drilling fields.

One year later, and the damage has already begun.

What I Posted For This Year’s Disability March

The following is a blog post i posted for this year’s Disability March. I hope you will give this a read, and share.

Thanx!! 🙂

“Time to Listen”: Autism and the simplicity of relationships

Thirty Days of Autism

It is the end of my day… I am home from work. It was a good day.

I taught a little girl, who is struggling in so many areas, to tie her shoes… and it gave me goosebumps. I can actually teach anyone who can do the first step and cross the laces and loop it under and tighten it… to tie their shoes. No. Seriously. Anyone! And someday I will do a post about that… which I am stating here as my commitment to do so!

Anyway, today I got home, riding my shoe-tying high, and when I looked at Craig the Amazing I could sense that he might be on the edge of frazzled. He is working so hard as the home facilitator for H’s distance education schooling. He is doing a fabulous job… but it is hard work… some days are really hard work.


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