Thank You, Aunt Bee

Why do I keep having dreams of my aunt,

my late father’s sister,

when the woman literally hates me

and has refused to ever help me

to where I could

actually make

the huge moves forward in life

that I have literally

needed to make my entire

flipping adult life????

She has always known

since I began writing to appeal for her help

in Nov. 1988

that I am multiply-disabled

that I could have lost my SSI/Social Security

F O R E V E R

If I tried to better myself without her help

and I failed because of my disabilities

and needed to go back on my monthly benefits

She refused to help me get

the dental care I needed

So I wouldn’t start losing my teeth

which has happened

She refused to understand

How my disabilities

could keep me from working

She wanted me to suffer

and

just do without instead

And that is exactly what has happened

When one cannot work

their entire adult life

because of deep painful sensory issues,

executive functioning

and sensory processing

and sensory triggers

that are real and serious enough

to affect my job performance

and me keeping any job

she instead expected me to

somehow

magically

come up with

a set of

bootstraps

to pull myself up by

when I could not come up with

any kind of fucking bootstraps

She has always treated me like Ima criminal

Instead of disabled and unable to work

and even ridiculed me when I

finally got a diagnosis of autism.

Hateful people

whose hatred

and bigoted cruelty

can

literally

dismantle

and

ruin

a disabled person’s entire existence

by their cold hearted cruelty

I would hope that if I had riches

Like she does

that

I would never

deliberately turn my back

On my own niece

when she reached out to me.

And flat out refuse to help her

Like my aunt has done to me.

Thank you “Aunt Bee”

thank you so very much

for throwing me in the literal trash.

And now It is too late

I have end stage kidney disease now

which IS a terminal illness.

I hope I do have riches someday soon

So I can make this right by helping

another hurting **me** out there who has

also

like me

fallen through the cracks

and

who lives her life today

in a state of constant

daily

hopelessness,

distress

and

utter

despair.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s