Monthly Archives: December 2019

Autism, Queerness, Masking & Meltdowns

Black NeuroQueer Punk

I always knew that something was different about me. I knew that I was different since I was about 5 years old. I just didn’t know how I was different.

It wasn’t until I was 6 when my mom told me that I was autistic—that explained why I often quoted from TV shows (which was caused by echolalia), didn’t understand verbal instruction, had difficulty communicating with others, and often had meltdowns.

However, the way my mom told me of my neurodivergence made it seem like being autistic was a bad thing, and at the time I was already punished a lot at school for having meltdowns.

Did I want these meltdowns to happen? No, I didn’t. I tried my hardest to calm down, but then the teachers would keep yelling at me while I was melting down, which only made things worse. As a result of these meltdowns, I would…

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