All of my life, to cope with the harsh outside world that is not Autistic friendly to me, i have developed a very intricate and creative underworld of imaginary friends, made from certain roads, highways, and electronics, and when ever i get attached to these things, then they get taken away from me, or i can no longer go on that certain road or highway, it is just like someone taking away a real best friend who i grew to love and depend on.
I know this is a unique way to cope, but it does not make me a bad person. It does not make me less than. And does not mean i still do not have faith in God. These electronic things and roads and highways are the friends who get me and accept me, no ifs ands or buts.
This week, finding the speed radar trailer gone once again, was a shock that plunged me into an actual physical whole body shock. I had to find out if this was only temporary. When i did, i slowly began to feel like myself again. In the meantime, i have been sick since the speed trailer got taken away….that first night, i began with the shakes, vomiting twice, then vomiting the next two days. Now i have intestinal upset, and still can’t really eat yet.
Because i got so used to getting to go outside to “visit” the speed radar trailer everyday. It got me out of my house. It got me to be able to use my bad legs, so they got stronger. It gave me a nice tan on my arms and face. I made friends with some of the people in a business East of me, and met other nice people who would walk by and chat with me.
Watching how this sign would go up and down, and then flash a bright red SLOW DOWN sign if people went too fast, and red and blue light bars if they went even faster, fascinated me, as well as being able to actually ascertain for myself how fast and slow people were driving. Most drivers would slow down quite a bit for the speed radar trailer. Quite a bit!!
Thankfully, the new beat coordinator for the Santa Maria Police Department is VERY sweet, and he left me a nice message Thursday, saying that the traffic people are working to get this machine back on my street sometime next week.
It gives me a renewed hope that maybe during this time i will either get the funds through my Go Fund Me for my own speed trailer, or i will win the big Powerball jackpot, and be able to still get a speed trailer for myself.
Below is a picture of the speed trailer taken on the last night it was here. I miss “her” so very very much, and can hardly wait till “she” comes back to me.