The following are my latest correspondences with the local police concerning my living environment and how my quality of life has suffered having to live trapped here in an unhealthy neighborhood full of noises that are like drill bits, and whips….noises that vibrate inside of my head, making me scream hysterically to make it stop…..please, make this stop….
I wrote these emails over the course of the past few days this week…..and putting them in this blog so that people can better understand and get what we as Autistics, go through when the system fails to give us the help we need…..and the help is inconsistent…..
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Dear K and J,
Is it silly for me to be so fascinated by a speed radar trailer that i have to take drives to see it at least three times a week, that i have to post picture after picture of it, and that i get so excited to sit in front of it and see how it displays each person’s speed in real time, and how it flashes when people go over the speed limit?
Or am i okay?
I have even made an imaginary friend out of this speed trailer and have been a state of real deep mourning ever since they came and took it off of my street on April 26th. It had been here on my street for a month, and it helped!!
I have actually been bombarding both the police commander and my beat officer with numerous emails begging them to put it back on my street, ever since they came and took it away.
Not only did it calm the traffic….and my meltdowns down, its presence was a real comfort to me.
It is my honest opinion that police departments need to be understanding towards Autistic people. My hugest dream is to see this world be a much more inclusive, friendly and accomodating place for us. That is my mission in life.
It is hard, if not impossible, for an Autistic person to adjust and adapt to an NT world that thinks in black and white and everyone being able to fit into neat little circles when some of us are square and triangular and diamond-shaped .
Because life has grey areas, i am sorry, but it does. And many of us who are neurodivergent are diamond, square, rectangular, triangular, hexagonal, and so on, shaped.
There is nothing wrong with that, or us.
I was created by God and put on this earth by Him/Her/Them as an Autistic for a reason, plus given the gift of writing, so i could educate and open people’s eyes, minds and hearts….that we who are Autistic, are not faulty broken appliances, or behavior problems to be solved, cured, and fixed….we are Disabled and unique human beings with a neurology that has to be considered, accepted, and embraced.
Because God makes no mistakes.
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Hi K and J,
It does not mean i am crazy —-i have used this coping mechanism to get through a very hard life of 56 years of being misunderstood, rejected, thrown away, and abused a great deal by family, schoolkids, teachers, a series of very bad caregivers, abusive friendships that traumatized me, and even some of the police i have dealt with who have scared the living daylights out of me. The LV experiences still haunt me to this day, as does the awful encounter i had with NC, and awful phone calls with DP.
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J and K,
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Having meltdowns now, so i can’t type well…..i meant to say another beat coordinator who will work with me and be as kind, compassionate and understanding of my plight as J has been with me. Scared i am going to hear even more bass. This is utter hell that i cannot escape….. 😥
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Dear K and J,
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And i am also frustrated that it seems as though every time i do get a nice someone who listens to me, who treats me like the human being i am, who really “GETS” me and what i have to endure…..they either get transferred or promoted and then i am back to Square One again.
I need help. Please. I need some miracles. Because, ironically, i still have a small mustard seed of faith left in me. (Pictured below is the Wanco speed trailer.)



I pray that they respond to hou sooner rather than later. So sorry you have to go through all this & that they dont respond back to you in a timely manner. They know the hell you are going through living where you do. I wish your social worker or case worker could put some more effort in & help you find a suitable home for you to live peacefully in & to healp regain your health back. I mean that’s what they’re there for no? To help you get the things you need? They must have some type of connections to help you find someplace that fits your living desires & accepts your section 8. I’ll keep you in my prayers as always. Sorry I havent been on Facebook much. Have a lot going on.
I haven’t seen any new blogs from you, so I’m hoping all is going well for you. I tried to check how you were doing on Facebook, but I guess you unfriended me. Which is ok. No hard feelings. Was just checking in on your blog to see how you were doing. Hope things are going good for you. Also hope they got your speed radar sign up & working & have left it there for you. Just all around hope all is going well. Hope you have a good Summer.
Wishing you all the best,
Melissa
Thank you, Melissa. I am hoping to blog again soon. Yes, i do have another working speed trailer here, and it has been working here since they came and turned it on on Thursday June 2nd. I have just been really tired and sleepy alot.
I’m so happy to hear they have the radar up & working & have left it there for you. I’ll pray they leave it there & don’t touch it.
I understand the tired & sleepy part. My health has been up h down a lot lately & I’ve been in some pretty misreable pain lately where I just don’t even have the strength to do anything some days. Having some teeth issue too. Ugh I’m just falling apart lately. I totally get what you mean. Hopefully it will turn around for the both of us & we can just live our lives out peacefully & happy. I don’t think any of us really ask for much. Just to be happy & not stressed all the time. (Well in this day & age that might actually be a lot to ask for ha? Hmmmpphhh)
Well have a good night my friend. I’ve included you in my nightly prayers as I always do. Hope you have a quite & peaceful night & morning.
Hugs.
Melissa
Thanx, Melissa, i am praying for you also. 🙂 ❤ ❤
Reblogged this on Autism Candles.