Monthly Archives: August 2014

Tone it down

love explosions

By Beth Ryan

Tone Policing.  Please stop doing that.

tone focus Yellow background with a cartoon police officer holding his hand up. The text reads: I’m wrong. So let’s focus on your tone.

What is tone policing?
I’ve created some examples based on what I see people saying.  Often.  Too often.  Tone policing doesn’t just apply to Autism Speaks discussions.  But that’s what’s on my mind lately.

Example 1:
Person A:  Autism Speaks is a horrible organization which promotes the hatred of Autistic people.  Giving your money to them is funding a hate organization.  I am Autistic and you’re financing hatred of me.
Person B: I agree with you but people are just going to dismiss you as cranky and angry if you take that approach.  You need to gently educate people if you want them to listen to you.

Example 2:
Person A:  You shouldn’t support Autism Speaks because only 4%…

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Newsflash: That’s called educating!

The Caffeinated Autistic

Someone on another website posted the following statement:

if u try to fix & cure autistic ppl as part of being an ally you are not an ally you are the enemy and we will destroy you


I’m not going to argue the semantics of the statement, and I know that statements like this often devolve into accusations about what is meant by the phrase “destroy you”.  I tend to take a non-violent approach, and believe that it means “destroy the ideology behind this” rather than actually harming a person.

What I want to talk about today, though, is a response that someone wrote to this meme-like statement and the explanation that Autism isn’t something that needs to be cure.

actually, it does, to a certain degree. autism does not need to be eradicated, but it needs to be “helped” so that people can live a functional, productive life.

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Ask All Of Those Who Will Not Understand…..

This is a blog post i wrote in March of 2013.

Ask all of those who will not understand
All who discount me
and who will not listen to me
and respect me
Ask all those who shun me 
and want me to just shut up 
and to have no voice
Ask all of those who put words in my mouth 
and who won’t let me speak to even defend myself
Ask all of those who accuse me of lying and imagining things
Ask all of those who say i just make a big deal out of nothing 
and that i blow things way out of proportion
Ask all of those who walk away 
and throw me in the garbage 
because i am not convenient to them.

Just because you have Asperger’s doesn’t mean you get to be an ass.

Pensive Aspie

Yes. I said it and I’ll say it again.

Having Asperger’s doesn’t mean you get to be an ass.

I realize that Asperger’s is a neurological disorder that affects the way we interact with others. We miss social cues. Sometimes we aren’t able to externally convey the emotions we feel inside. I get it. I do. I live it every day. I know how it feels to feel misunderstood. I know how it feels to constantly doubt yourself.  I know how it feels to be bullied, belittled, and left out. If you have Asperger’s, you probably know those feelings too.  We may not pick up on social cues, but our experiences have certainly taught us how to spot when someone is being sarcastic or cruel.

You know how it feels when someone ignores you.

When someone dismisses you.

When someone is deliberately rude to you. With experience, you can even…

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There is no such thing as an Autistic Adult

I am an Autistic adult who is 54 and i still need help and services, and i am still not getting them.

Pensive Aspie

Autism only occurs in children.  Because it is a childhood disorder, as an autistic child leaves adolescence behind, the symptoms of their autism will gradually decrease and disappear. By the time the person is an adult, they will be completely Autism-free. They will have no need for speech or physical therapy. No need for mental health services. They will be fully functioning adults – ready to get a job, go to college and begin their new life without autism.


Of course this is ABSOLUTELY, 100% NOT TRUE, but this is something I am told every day by the media and organizations that claim to “support Autism.”

When I first suspected I had Asperger’s, I immediately began looking for more information about a diagnosis and support. A google search of Autism and Jacksonville, FL was hopeful. So many resources! CARD (Center for Autism and Related Disabilities). The HEAL (Healing Every Autistic…

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Tired of all these Autism and ADHD brats!

This is an excellent read, and also true!!

Pensive Aspie


When I was a kid they didn’t call it “Behavioral Disorders.”  They called it “Being a little brat!”  This is just ONE of many memes I have seen on my social networks. They are shared by my friends and family. I would like to think that is just the ignorant/uneducated who feel this way, but it isn’t.

Driving home from work a couple weeks ago, a college-educated peer told me that she felt that “most of these autism and adhd diagnoses” are fabricated.  Her son had some of the traits of a child with Autism/ADHD but HE doesn’t have Autism/ADHD so maybe it doesn’t really exist. She felt it was just an “excuse” for people NOT to parent. Did I mention she was COLLEGE EDUCATED?!?  She knew about my blog, my Asperger’s, and my beliefs, but since my thoughts are different from hers, of course mine MUST be wrong.  After…

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because she is better

love explosions

Pink sky and beach.  A shadow of a person in blue standing on the beach. Text reads:  "I will not ask my child to change so the world can stay the same. Pink sky and beach. A shadow of a person in blue standing on the beach.
Text reads: “I will not ask my child to change so the world can stay the same.

I will not ask my child to change so the world can stay the same.
I will not.

Many people will cast her out for flapping, for flopping, for being Autistic.
I will cast many people out for being bigots.

The world is filled with dangers for Autistic people.
All the more reason to teach her safety and self-advocacy skills.

It is often really hard to be a parent.
It is.

I worry about what will happen to her when I’m gone.
I better prepare her for the world and the world for her.

I wonder what kind of life she will have if she doesn’t choose to conform.
I know the kind of life she will have if…

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The unrecovered

Chavisory's Notebook

I have had a lot of reaction in the past few days to that New York Times Magazine article concerning “The Kids Who Beat Autism.” Here’s about all I have left.

The parents, the teachers, the therapists and researchers without a clue who are celebrating “recovery” because they have, in their heads, defined autism as a fixed set of permanent inabilities—

-Are not the people doing the work of passing, and are not going to be the ones to find out first-hand just how long it isn’t actually sustainable.

-Are not the people who get told we’re too articulate to be autistic but have to ration our hours of speech per day.

-Are not the developmentally disabled women who suffer a sexual abuse rate of over 90%, no thanks to the compliance training that teaches that allowing others to control our bodies is desirable behavior.

-Are not the…

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