The following is a series of blogs i wrote in March and April of 2012, about the way a six year relationship ended, because i saw pictures of him this morning and this afternoon, and it has triggered me, and i am having bad flashbacks now……..
March 13, 2012
As most of you know by now, R, my next door neighbor, moved next door to me six years ago, with the understanding that he would be a friend and ally to me, and watch out for me and help me if i needed it. He was well-aware going in that i am autistic, that i have issues with neighbors in a few of the businesses here, and that i would have meltdowns. he said that would be no problem. In return, he would get a reduced rent, with approx. $350 a month taken off for being nice to me. Within these past six years, however, he has, every two to four months, gotten in very harsh mean moods with me…….
Well, my latest trainwreck with him happened Sunday night, when, fearing i was going to run out of stomach medication, i asked if he would please, within the next two days, go to a drugstore to pick me up four more bottles so i would have enough on hand. His response was to suddenly lose it and go off on me. He used God’s name in vain on me twice, and emailed me telling me to never ask him to shop for me again.
As i am autistic, i don’t function well at all when people lose patience with me and turn nasty. Especially when they are fully cognizant of my plight and autism. I shut down. I can’t focus. I can’t even move. Or talk at times. I feel like i am in a sort of a black dense fog…and this is how i feel right now.
This time R is much more hostile, and is now retaliating by turning on the kind of music that he knows causes me to have meltdowns…and is threatening to turn me and my mother in for fraud against the government, when we have done nothing wrong or fraudulant. I do not know what has gone on in his world to cause this latest episode of his, but he frightens me badly when he gets like this, and each time he and i have these spells, people advise that my mom should evict him.
This time…it is going to happen. And during the eviction process, i must do all i can to lay low, and only go out when my caregivers, or friends, are here. I have blocked him from both my email accounts now, so he can no longer send me nasty grams. I am going to arrange for weekly caregiver visits during this time until he is gone from here, and i have also arranged to have others take out and bring in my trash, and wash my car.
What makes this even more hard for me to handle is that he built a bond of trust between he and i, said he was on my side, and that he would never do this to me….yet, it keeps happening again…and again. And what makes it even worse is that he professes to be a Holy-Spirit-filled Christian..and even quotes all kinds of verses about being kind to the poor in the Bible!!!
I am glad he is going to be gone. I don’t wish to hate him…but i am very angry and hurt at this time. He has betrayed my trust one time too many. This..is a classic case of abuse….and the thing is that he will, invariably, do this to others. I have, in fact, witnessed him verbally abuse another autistic child that he knows and sometimes takes care of…..
Again…i don’t write this to slam him..i write this because it is what so many autistics are going through, and society has to be made aware…that this kind of thing occurs..and it needs to be stopped. Agencies like Adult Protective Services need to be called immediately, if any of you see this kind of thing going on, please…because you never know…it could escalate into worse abuse…and even death…or death by suicide.
I now know that R is a bully monster. He used, abused, and took full advantage of me, and my mother both. I think that when these spells occur with him, that he shows his true colors. And i have come to the painful reality…that R….was truly never my friend.