This blog was originally written on March 11, 2012……
The night that things all started to fall apart between R and i……
Why i am doing this….is that this man has fir the past six years….placed me thru an up and down rollercoaster ride of torment and i am in sheer hell because of him and i need you to all help me get away from this street, and away from him ASAP…..please..in Jesus name….
My email to him:
I just wanted to let you know i managed to go to Target and Albertsons earlier tonight to get all that i needed that i forgot the other day. If i need help of any kind from now on, i will just struggle to either get it done myself, or call on my caregivers, which my mom will have to pay for. Please remember, i cannot call on my brother J**, because he won’t speak to me, nor can i call on H either now, because now H works long hours down in Santa Barbara, and does not have the time to give….and i am not feeling well anymore. I had just wanted some Immodium AD so i would have enough on hand, and not run the risk of being without it. I never meant for tonight to cause another argument between us. No worries, i got four more bottles of it. Please don;’t respond to me tonight because i am feeling very hurt at how i was yelled at, and how even God’s name was said in vain at me too tonight. Not once. But twice. I value our friendship, R, you are like a brother to me, and it rally hurts me to the core when you treat me like i am just a piece of dirt. I miss the Fireside Chats we were having…those are even gone now too again…..i really feel as though you hate me sometimes, R. And it really hurts. I can’t do better than i am. Please know that!
And what he just had the gall to write to me just now…..
I’m glad you realize that I will not enable you to become so dependent on others when you can do things for yourself. I just bought you a bottle of Imodium AD last month! If you are using that much medicine for your gastro-intestinal trac, then you need to go to the doctor ASAP!
Please, do not ask me to shop for you every week. Walgreen’s has a drive-thru for your medicines. It is not my fault that you have and obsessive/compulsive disorder where you have to buy a 2 month supply of EVERYTHING! Think about that when you demand your independence and then you fall to depending on everyone.
I hope you forward this reply to your family and if you won’t then I will.
May God have mercy on you,
Ps~ I guess I have been reduced to a letter?
Again…i am writing this because i am appealing to be set free from this hell..because i am so upset right now i am shaking so hard..and i cannot stand him next door to me anymore..this man is a tyrant..he is a monster!!!!!! Help me please!!!! He has used me and bullied me enough…please help me to get away from him and this street ASap…pleaase!!!!!!!
He wrote this at 11 PM thinking because my mom is in bed that this would really hurt us both….he knows i am in bad health and he knows that i cannot always get to the store…it is not ocd that makes me shop heavy…it is that i can’t always get to the store and so i like to stock up on stuff…..he knows all of this and is being cruel to me toniht..and i am so ungueld…….
End of blog. I left some of the typos in to illustrate how my typing skills are when i become upset…..