To All Of My New Friends,
This is a note to explain about me and my situation. I am almost 54 years old, and i am Autistic. I have suffered my whole life, not from my Autism, but from because of growing up being misunderstood, misjudged, and rejected, because most people have not taken the time to understand and get to know me. My aim in life is to tell my story, by venting and blogging and vlogging, to educate everyone globally as to how life is for those of us who are Autistic and who grew up without support, acceptance, and love.
I am not a drama queen, nor do i like drama; however, i do happen to vent alot, as a way to cope with what happens to me. I need to vent, so i can get it out, so i can process through things that happen to me, and to educate all of you who i come into contact with, so you will know and understand. My hope in telling my story, is to make this world Autism friendly.
I have been the victim of much bullying, sadly, by most of my family, mean schoolkids, etc.,…..and i still am being bullied to this day by mean men in several nearby businesses where i have been living for the past 23 years. On top of this, i have had to deal with many of my close friendships that i have had, ending very badly, with the people turning angrily against me.
I have run all of my past personal caregivers off too.
I have also had many of those caregivers be very very abusive towards me.
It has always been hard for me to keep friends. And my caregivers.
Reason is because i am a very complex person; i still have lots, lots, and lots of fears, rituals, routines, hangups, phobias, and fetishes, that most people don;’t understand, nor even want to.
I have deep ongoing PTSD issues. I have a deep-seated fear of being abandoned over and over again.
I have noise sensitivities to certain types of noises, mainly the loud noises the bullies in my neighborhood make deliberately to antagonize me, with their motor vehicles, and their LOUD booming bass.
I cannot wear headphones or earplugs, as things in or on my ears bugs the living daylights out of me too. Nor do i feel i should have to wear earplugs in my own home just to be able to live my daily life.
I do have a sense of humor, i am fun, goofy, and easy to get along with, if you are genuinely accepting of me.
I am also very compassionate, caring, and i do not lack empathy for others at all. I am however, in my own world much of the time, and it is hard for me to show or reciprocate affection and appreciation towards others.
I love people, children, babies, and animals, but i am not good at being close with anyone, either human or creature. I cannot handle holding babies, or cuddling with a cat or dog, due to sensory issues with that kind of interaction. I love hugs though, but i have to be hugged a certain way, or that can even throw me off.
My brain and body are simply wired differently.
Please get to know me, and feel free to ask me questions before you judge me and give up on being my friend, please. Please also let me talk. Please don’t talk over me, or at me or talk down to me. Or talk to me like i’m a baby.
I get easily discouraged when people get mean and harsh woith me and give up on me. This makes me not want to even try anymore.
Please know that this is my wall, and my safe space here on Facebook. I seek to make friends with people who are going to truly “get” and accept me.
I am a bleeding heart liberal person who has faith, and i do cuss, and i am quite outspoken, so please don’t let that throw you. I am not a mean person though. I am not here to hurt anyone, just to tell my Autistic story, so i can do my part to help end the hate and stigma that is still out there.
I wrote this because i have had alot of problems even here on the internet being understood.
Thank you all for listening.