It’s Okay

It’s okay to walk away from a friendship
that is toxic
that makes you feel alone
that makes you feel like you cannot be yourself
that makes you feel like you’re a person who is hard to love
that invalidates you
that silences you
that dismisses you
that mocks you and makes fun of you
that talks over you and interrupts you and won’t truly listen to you
that puts up walls that you cannot penetrate
that doesn’t respect your boundaries and personal autonomy
that makes you feel less than, othered, broken, and defective
that makes you feel like you always have to compromise how you feel
that makes you feel ashamed, reprimanded, like a small child
that makes you not just afraid, but frightened
that drains you of everything, even your joy and very spirit and soul.

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A Story From My Childhood

An #ActuallyAutistic fact about me.

When i was 8 and 9 years old, i had a childhood friend who liked to promise me we were going to go to her house and we were going to play all these exciting games with her dolls and toy trucks, and do slip n slide, etc.

We’d get to her house, and her mom would serve us a delicious lunch of sandwiches, and all different kinds of snack chips, and flavors of soda pop.

Then this friend would suddenly turn mean, and start teasing me and saying she hated me. She would take her dolls and other toys away from me, and tell me “No, i’ve decided i don’t want you to play with my dolls, trucks, etc. after all!”

I would end up hanging out with this friend’s mom. I’d go home upset.

The next day i would go to school, still upset, and the way this childhood friend treated me, would gravely affect my entire day at school. And often the entire week at school. I would meltdown at the least little thing, both in my classroom and on the playground at recess. I couldn’t concentrate on my schoolwork, do any of my schoolwork, and i would even wet myself.

As an autistic adult, guess what? I am still gravely affected by people like that childhood friend. No, i don’t wet myself anymore, but when people won’t listen, let me talk, and believe me when i say i can or can’t do something, or they are harsh and insensitive towards me, and say things that are harsh and insensitive, then not let me defend myself, i still get upset, and stay upset for sometimes days—-i cannot sleep, or walk as well, nor can i even hold a decent conversation. I still meltdown at the tiniest things. I now get bad sick stomach spells over this.

It really does matter that neurotypical people really listen and learn about us autistic people, because to not learn, and then get impatient when we don’t or can’t do things, or life, the NT way, hurts us more than you can know. To reject us hurts us more than you can know.

Because an autistic person’s brain is wired neurodivergently, instead of neurotypically. We see, smell, taste, hear, and touch things much more deeply than a neurotypical person.

A person’s words can literally mean life or death to an already marginalized and misunderstood person. When you take the time to read and watch autistic people’s blogs and videos, and learn about us, and then befriend us, and really get to know us and accept us, not just “tolerate” us, it makes a real positive difference to us.

A Late Night Poem, Autistic Part Two

Autistic
Please don’t use it as a cuss word. It is a valid disability, it is a part of me, and i cannot take it off like one can take off clothing.

Autistic
It is not the plague. It is not a virus. It is not a disease. It is not contagious.

Autistic
I need to have my TV and music on at all times because a completely silent house upsets me just as much as the annoying mega bass and hot rodding noises do, and because i love to listen to my music, and have my TV on, talking to me.

Autistic
No, it is not my excuse, nor do i use it as my shield, it is the reason why i hyper focus, hyper empathize, and experience each and every aspect of life at a deeper level than a neurotypical person does.

Autistic
Is the reason why there are so many things i have trouble doing or just cannot do. Please believe me when i say i can’t do something. Because i really cannot do that something.

Autistic
It is important that you listen and read between the lines when you listen to me. Let me talk. Let me feel what i feel. Don’t shame or belittle me. Don’t silence me. Don’t make me afraid to talk. Please don’t talk over me, interrupt me, and assume i meant something else other than what i am trying to tell you that i mean.

Autistic
Please don’t talk about or bring up things you know will trigger and upset me, like past mistakes, past blunders, past fuck ups.

Autistic
When i say something happened, it did happen. Please believe me.

Autistic
I am not a behavior problem, i am not demanding, i am not broken, damaged or faulty.

Autistic
Please don’t tell me to just walk around with headphones on all day. I should not have to adjust, or adapt, to my environment, especially in my own home, and especially when the noises of the bass and loud hot rodding are being done deliberately to bully and torment me.

Autistic
Please don’t tone police me and tell me not to cuss, talk too loud, or use quiet hands. I need to be me. I grew up not being able to be me, and i can’t do that anymore

Autistic
I am not violent. I am most likely to hit myself or a wall or slam a door, than hurt anyone else during a meltdown.

Autistic
Please be happy for the achievements i make.

Autistic
Please, learn to understand and accept me and don’t give up on me and throw me away. It will just make me want to give up and never try at all anymore.

#StopTheShock

TW/CW: Judge Rotenberg Center, use of electric shocks to intimidate and instill fear into disabled human beings. Disabled human beings!

It is now 2018. Why is this still happening? These students are human beings. This should have been stopped in the beginning.

Reblogging because everybody needs to call in, sign the petition, and spread this blog far and wide. Even if you don’t have the spoons to read through this, please skim to the bottom where the links are to call, write and sign the petition.

a diary of a mom

I wrote the following in January of 2015. Even then, the battle was far from new. Autistic people and those who love them have been fighting to end this desperately inhumane form of torture for YEARS.

Please, please get involved. At the end of the post, you will find quick, concrete ways to make your voice heard. Even if you can’t bear to read the bulk of the post, I understand, but please don’t ignore it. This can’t be who we are.

460x

In this Aug. 13, 2014, photo, a female student wearing a shocking device on her leg, lines up with classmates after lunch at the Judge Rotenberg Educational Center in Canton, Mass. (AP Photo/Charles Krupa) Source

cw: electric shock, torture of disabled people

What you are about to read and watch and hear will be extremely difficult to process. It’s horrifying. I’m asking you to read it anyway.

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Ableism Therapies

Erin Human

Ableism Therapies

[The following text is also a transcript for the featured image infographic]

The only evidence backed treatment for ableism is listening to disabled people and learning from us.

Organizations

Twitter Hashtags

  • #CripTheVote
  • #ActuallyAutistic
  • #FilmDis
  • #AutisticWhileBlack
  • #TheFutureIsDisabled
  • #TheFutureIsAccessible

Awareness Campaigns

Intro: Ableism Awareness Month

Part 1: What is ableism?

Part 2: How many people are affected by ableism?

Part 3: What causes ableism?

Part 4: Is there a cure for ableism?

Ableism Awareness Wrapup Post

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Is there a cure for ableism?

Erin Human

[The following text is also a transcript for the featured image description]

Is there a cure for ableism?

Effective treatments for ableism include:

Education

Everyone must make an effort to learn about disability issues and to examine and confront ableist bias ourselves and our communities. We all have a duty to understand and combat ableism.

Accessibility

Inclusion and accessibility are civil rights, not special privileges. It is everyone’s obligation to find out how to make our communities and spaces more accessible, and endeavor to include disabled people.

Intersectionality

The rights of disabled people are intertwined with non disabled people’s civil rights; our political activism, our votes, and our policy making should always be inclusive and intersectional.

Center Disabled People

Disabled people must be centered in our own lives and in disability advocacy; this means we have autonomy in our personal lives and we take the lead in disability rights organizations…

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