My autistic son was Baker Acted the first day of middle school.

Staci's Life

I was stuck in the high school car loop picking up my oldest when I got a call from the middle school guidance counselor: please come immediately to help with my son.

I sent my husband, and as I was pulling into my driveway to drop off my daughters, received a cryptic text from my husband: “Call me now. He’s being baker acted.”

What?

My 12 year old son has a sweetness to him, despite his preteen reluctance to shower and anxiety in crowds. He thrives on routine and consistency; clear expectations and quiet.

We knew middle school would be hard. Even elementary school wasn’t easy for him, but we had a great team of people who knew and loved him. We had developed an effective IEP and communicated it at a “roll up meeting” with both his current elementary school team and the middle school guidance counselor.

Most neurotypical…

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Being Disabled isn’t Eco Friendly: Get Off Our Backs and Put In The Work

Crutches & Spice

I live in France and despite the fact that a Costco opened just outside of the city, I deeply miss bulk shopping. So, when my dad asked me what I wanted him to bring from home, it was simple: paper plates. Can I get them here? Sure. But can I get 700 at once? No. My dad delivered and I am currently working off pack 2 of 2. Will this piss off some granola-eating, unironic-Birkenstock-wearing, nutmeg wholesaler who can’t shut up about his new stainless-steel water bottle? You betcha! But will that same person come over each night to make sure my dishes are done? Hell no.

Every so often I come across posts about innovations that increase waste and are deemed ridiculous even though these very ideas make disabled people’s lives easier. I’m not above it either. I thought it was ridiculous to sell pre-peeled oranges and halved avocados…

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To All Who Bully & Torment Me

To all of the people who think it’s a fun sport to deliberately bully, torment, and terrorize a lonely housebound disabled autistic adult in the only home they currently have to live in…..

….by parking in a parking lot near my house with your loud bass thumping and bumping and vibrating the walls of my living room, just so you can get a delightful kick out of hearing my screams of sheer pain and agony….

…..screams so loud i lose my voice and my throat sometimes bleeds, and it makes my whole head hurt, and me feel sick and weakened—–yet you still won’t stop—and i have to keep screaming till you finally relent and turn the bass off…..

….leave from your place of work at the auto shop, with your loud big beige 4X4 truck, and gun the bloody murder out of it, causing me to scream, because someone has told you i’m a monster who deserves this kind of treatment…..

…do any of you realize that these noises actually cause me pain? Maybe it’s not physical pain but it is a painful anguish, and it vibrates my entire head and digestive system when you make these noises….

…..i wish you would, once and for all, sit down and Google the blogs of #actuallyautistic #neurodivergent adults, and start learning about who we are, and what our disability is, and is not.

I am sure that if any of you who so cruelly like to bully and terrorize me every afternoon, had an autistic son or daughter of your own….

……or, say, you have a sister or brother or mother or father who’s autistic…. and they were being bullied just like i am, and they came to you, sobbing brokenheartedly because they are wondering why people are so cruel to them, then maybe you would finally know the real pain you are causing me in my own home when you set out to use your car stereos and car engines to torment and terrorize me.

Being autistic does not equate me as being bad, wrong, broken, missing, less-than, damaged, and deserving of this kind of torture.

Just hoping to get you to understand…..if someone you loved were getting treated this way, would you not move heaven and earth to help get those bullies to lay off?

Hi, my name is Melissa. And i am a real human being. And i have feelings just like you do.

Please stop making what life i have left on this earth so unbearable.

#WhereAreTheChildren: How to Help

Political⚡Charge

How-can-I-help

Since the news hit that the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) admitted to losing nearly 1,500 children in their custody, social media has been inundated with furious citizens demanding to know what happened to the children. Here’s what we’ve learned, and what you can do about it.

What happened? 

One month ago, an official from DHS admitted under questioning in a congressional hearing that the agency could not account for nearly 1,500 unaccompanied minors who arrived at the border, nearly 19% of the minors in their custody.

Then on Monday, the news hit that the government is forcibly separating children from their families at the border.

Then yesterday, the ACLU released a report with horrifying details as to the abuses that children in custody at the border are being subjected to.

The outrage on social media has been festering but it blew over yesterday. #WhereAreTheChildren has been trending non-stop…

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A Story From My Childhood

An #ActuallyAutistic fact about me.

When i was 8 and 9 years old, i had a childhood friend who liked to promise me we were going to go to her house and we were going to play all these exciting games with her dolls and toy trucks, and do slip n slide, etc.

We’d get to her house, and her mom would serve us a delicious lunch of sandwiches, and all different kinds of snack chips, and flavors of soda pop.

Then this friend would suddenly turn mean, and start teasing me and saying she hated me. She would take her dolls and other toys away from me, and tell me “No, i’ve decided i don’t want you to play with my dolls, trucks, etc. after all!”

I would end up hanging out with this friend’s mom. I’d go home upset.

The next day i would go to school, still upset, and the way this childhood friend treated me, would gravely affect my entire day at school. And often the entire week at school. I would meltdown at the least little thing, both in my classroom and on the playground at recess. I couldn’t concentrate on my schoolwork, do any of my schoolwork, and i would even wet myself.

As an autistic adult, guess what? I am still gravely affected by people like that childhood friend. No, i don’t wet myself anymore, but when people won’t listen, let me talk, and believe me when i say i can or can’t do something, or they are harsh and insensitive towards me, and say things that are harsh and insensitive, then not let me defend myself, i still get upset, and stay upset for sometimes days—-i cannot sleep, or walk as well, nor can i even hold a decent conversation. I still meltdown at the tiniest things. I now get bad sick stomach spells over this.

It really does matter that neurotypical people really listen and learn about us autistic people, because to not learn, and then get impatient when we don’t or can’t do things, or life, the NT way, hurts us more than you can know. To reject us hurts us more than you can know.

Because an autistic person’s brain is wired neurodivergently, instead of neurotypically. We see, smell, taste, hear, and touch things much more deeply than a neurotypical person.

A person’s words can literally mean life or death to an already marginalized and misunderstood person. When you take the time to read and watch autistic people’s blogs and videos, and learn about us, and then befriend us, and really get to know us and accept us, not just “tolerate” us, it makes a real positive difference to us.

A Late Night Poem, Autistic Part Two

Autistic
Please don’t use it as a cuss word. It is a valid disability, it is a part of me, and i cannot take it off like one can take off clothing.

Autistic
It is not the plague. It is not a virus. It is not a disease. It is not contagious.

Autistic
I need to have my TV and music on at all times because a completely silent house upsets me just as much as the annoying mega bass and hot rodding noises do, and because i love to listen to my music, and have my TV on, talking to me.

Autistic
No, it is not my excuse, nor do i use it as my shield, it is the reason why i hyper focus, hyper empathize, and experience each and every aspect of life at a deeper level than a neurotypical person does.

Autistic
Is the reason why there are so many things i have trouble doing or just cannot do. Please believe me when i say i can’t do something. Because i really cannot do that something.

Autistic
It is important that you listen and read between the lines when you listen to me. Let me talk. Let me feel what i feel. Don’t shame or belittle me. Don’t silence me. Don’t make me afraid to talk. Please don’t talk over me, interrupt me, and assume i meant something else other than what i am trying to tell you that i mean.

Autistic
Please don’t talk about or bring up things you know will trigger and upset me, like past mistakes, past blunders, past fuck ups.

Autistic
When i say something happened, it did happen. Please believe me.

Autistic
I am not a behavior problem, i am not demanding, i am not broken, damaged or faulty.

Autistic
Please don’t tell me to just walk around with headphones on all day. I should not have to adjust, or adapt, to my environment, especially in my own home, and especially when the noises of the bass and loud hot rodding are being done deliberately to bully and torment me.

Autistic
Please don’t tone police me and tell me not to cuss, talk too loud, or use quiet hands. I need to be me. I grew up not being able to be me, and i can’t do that anymore

Autistic
I am not violent. I am most likely to hit myself or a wall or slam a door, than hurt anyone else during a meltdown.

Autistic
Please be happy for the achievements i make.

Autistic
Please, learn to understand and accept me and don’t give up on me and throw me away. It will just make me want to give up and never try at all anymore.

#StopTheShock

TW/CW: Judge Rotenberg Center, use of electric shocks to intimidate and instill fear into disabled human beings. Disabled human beings!

It is now 2018. Why is this still happening? These students are human beings. This should have been stopped in the beginning.

Reblogging because everybody needs to call in, sign the petition, and spread this blog far and wide. Even if you don’t have the spoons to read through this, please skim to the bottom where the links are to call, write and sign the petition.

a diary of a mom

I wrote the following in January of 2015. Even then, the battle was far from new. Autistic people and those who love them have been fighting to end this desperately inhumane form of torture for YEARS.

Please, please get involved. At the end of the post, you will find quick, concrete ways to make your voice heard. Even if you can’t bear to read the bulk of the post, I understand, but please don’t ignore it. This can’t be who we are.

460x

In this Aug. 13, 2014, photo, a female student wearing a shocking device on her leg, lines up with classmates after lunch at the Judge Rotenberg Educational Center in Canton, Mass. (AP Photo/Charles Krupa) Source

cw: electric shock, torture of disabled people

What you are about to read and watch and hear will be extremely difficult to process. It’s horrifying. I’m asking you to read it anyway.

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