It’s Time to Retire “Able-Bodied”

A very good read. I actually prefer to use the term “non-disabled”, because it correctly describes a non-disabled person, without using demeaning and stigmatizing language. Words DO matter.

lauren smith-donohoe

As folks become more aware of ableism, there are listicles and blog posts galore explaining what ableism is, how we do it unconsciously, how to avoid being ableist, how to make spaces more accessible, and so on. This is a great trend in social and indie media that should continue! Unfortunately, all too many, even those by disabled people, use the inaccurate and problematic term “able-bodied.”

The thing is, “able-bodied” erases and others cognitive*, developmental, neurological, and psychiatric disabilities. It plays into the my-mind-is-fine trope and reinforces the medical model of disability. What does “able-bodied” even mean? Which abilities count? Aren’t all bodies able to do a thing or two?

When people use “able-bodied,” to refer to nondisabled people, it separates those with cognitive disabilities from people with physical disabilities as if the two truly were separate– as if the mind weren’t a part of the body. This implies that…

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Please Understand, I Am Going Through A Very Bad Season Right Now–A New About Me Blog

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A blog by an Autistic adult.

And i don’t know how i am going to get myself back out of this now, because i feel as though the hole i am in now, is way too deep for me to climb out of by myself.

I feel an onslaught of fear and anxiety all the time now, and cannot rest. When i do rest, i want to stay asleep, and not wake up.

I am fearful that my caregiver is going to get fed up with me and quit me. She has become like a close sister to me, and i admit, i cling to her more than ever now, because when she is not here, i literally have nobody to turn to, to talk to, to bounce my ideas off of, to share my thoughts with. When she is here, i love to share my thoughts with her, and love it when she and i can talk, and when she gets me to laugh and giggle. I love it when she wears her hair down, and she lets me play in it and look at the colorful shines in her hair. (Yes, for those who don’t know, i love shiny hair. And she has beautiful long brunette-dark red shiny hair.) Whenever i feel that i may have displeased her in any way, it bothers me so much that my entire night gets ruined by my worrying and anxiety over whether i have made her angry or burnt out?

Today, i am once again way beyond tired. It has been like this every single day now, ever since the police last took the speed trailer away from me…the nice speed trailer i had from June 2nd through July 19th of last summer. When it was here, it became my friend too….because all of my life, to cope with a world that still mostly does not get Autistic people, i have made imaginary friends out of certain roads, highways, and certain electronics. It is hard to explain to those who don’t understand how my Autistic mind works, how profoundly traumatic that was for me to lose the speed trailer a second time. Lately, i seem to never get enough sleep each day, and i feel like going back to sleep when i wake up. This is a combination of the worry and stress about my still-festering, still-bad living situation,still not being able to have the speed trailer put back here, and my worry and anxiety over the way things have been since the orange tanned dicktator got inaugurated.

All i want to do these days, is to curl up into a ball and sleep…..and not wake up till this is all over. Till we have a nice President again. Till i have a way to be able to move from here.

I have changed in the past 6 years.

In 2010, i still was learning about my Autism, and ableism, and neurodiversity. In 2010, i still was a moderate Republican, even.

In January of 2012, i still had a deep Christian faith. And lots of hopes and dreams and goals for myself.

Today, yes, i still believe, but i no longer wear it on my sleeve like i used to. Nor do i like to preach about my faith anymore on my wall. Why, you may ask? Life happened between then and now; by 2012, i had gotten so badly hurt by one too many churches, and by some so-called Christian “friends”—–and i turned very cynical and bitter and angry. All of these life experiences, plus meeting all of you wonderful people on Facebook, has woken my mind up, and turned me into a flaming proud liberal progressive.

I also finally felt comfortable coming out as bi-sexual due to being on Facebook and meeting all of you awesome friends. I have always felt attracted to both women and men, and i did come out to two of my sisters and my mother, in the past.

In March of 2012, i went through a violent verbal and emotional separation of a friendship between me and a man who also professed a deep Christian faith, but he was a man who used me financially, and who would get in terrible mean moods with me every other month. In March 2012, he turned against me one final time, this time for good, and tried to get me kicked off of both YouTube and Facebook both. This was a trauma that i still have not healed from. His cruelty towards me, still causes me to have bad nightmares even today, of him. One cannot put a time limit on PTSD.

And then right on the heels of that, came a long string of very abusive caregivers…..from May 2012 to March 2014. Yes, i blogged about it all in a six part blog series. Those added to my trauma and PTSD.

Even though i now have a good caregiver, and she has been my caregiver now for 3 years, i fear that she too will turn on me and leave. (I wrote alittle bit about that fear at the beginning of this blog.) That fear is a great fear still, because so many people have done that to me in my life. I KNOW i am not easy to get along with. I have a great any rituals, routines, am set in my ways, phobias, fears, sensory issues, triggers, that go along with being Autistic. Most people cannot understand that, and even the ones who do, soon grow tired of me and leave me. This is because most people think of my meltdowns as a behavior issue and they yell at me to get me to stop—and that only ends up making my meltdowns even worse…..and longer-lasting.

I no longer drive. I had to stop driving in April of 2012, due to a growing lymphedema leg tumor on my left inner thigh, and due to me growing more and more fearful of going places by myself anymore.

Since then, i have been mostly housebound, and have been relying on caregivers to come to my home to help me, so that i can remain living in my own home.

To be honest, I am depressed now….and am living only as long as God keeps me here. But to be brutally honest, life has gotten to be an unbearable daily hell for me. On all levels. And it is getting worse. Especially now that we seem to have a whole new regime in Washington DC. A new regime that seems to be all levels of authoritarian—and honestly quite terrifying.

I am truthfully holding on by what is left of my faith…..hoping that God will just take me in my sleep soon.
In the meantime, while i am still on this earth, i will do all i can to fight for the rights of Disabled /Autistic and all marginalized groups of people till i draw my last breath. Because i love you all. You all mean the world to me.
Which is the reason why i post so many political posts now. And why i now have my TV glued to the more liberal cable news channels all the time now. Because i am Disabled/ Autistic, and i am deeply involved in Autistic / Disability Rights……and out of that, i have come to really care deeply about this planet and all of the people and animal and plant life that inhabit Mother Earth.
Because politics and Disability rights and issues are intersected. Politics and Disability rights are completely interwoven. Our healthcare, our benefits that we rely on. Are all at stake now.
Because….these are frightening times we are living in right now.
Because this is who i am.
Please understand.

A Political Post, Because….

Today, i plan not to watch MSNBC at all until tonight when i can watch Rachel Maddow, Lawrence O’Donnell, and Chris Hayes.

I will not be watching the inauguration. I repeat: I WILL NOT BE WATCHING THE INAUGURATION.

Because i do not support him nor do i call him my president.

He was not supposed to be elected.

Yes, i AM going to dwell on this, because again,
he was NOT supposed to be elected.
It is clear that Hillary Clinton had the popular vote, and clear as the hand in front of our faces that DJT is a
narcissistic racist,
sexually abusive,
physically abusive,
verbally abusive,
hot tempered, mean,
vindictive, malicious ruthless monster
who lies,
who goes back on his word,
who makes fun of women for their looks,
who body shames,
who pokes fun at Disabled people,
who thinks Muslims are all terrorists,
who plans to defund Planned Parenthood and ban abortions,
who plans to go right along with all of the Republicans who plan to make deep cuts to our social safety net and healthcare system that will end up ruining the lives of real human beings, and killing us….
who plans to ban the press from the White House
who seems to have a real love for, and connection to, Russia,
who also has a very authoritarian personality,
who has said he wants to strengthen our nuclear arsenal,
who has already managed to anger several nations,
who plans to do away with the climate change agreement,
who plans to do away with everything that protects women and all marginalized groups from hate and discrimination
who plans to take away the rights of LGBTQIA people
and turn our country back to the bad Dark Ages before FDR, Lyndon Baines Johnson, and the Civil Rights Movement……
who plans to cut access to the lifesaving medicine for those with HIV/AIDS, who are now able to live because of those meds…..the list goes on and on.

………and our electoral college was supposed to be there to PROTECT us from demagogues like him!!

Didn’t happen, did it?

My Thoughts On The Current State Of Country

The following are my thoughts, written as Facebook posts, on the current state of our country, as we head towards a dark period of God knows what.

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With this dark cloud of uncertainty hanging over my head that the new government could now actually get away with gutting the benefits for elderly and disabled people, me included, i am finding it increasingly harder to enjoy or even handle everyday life.

I cannot sleep. I am getting more frequent sick stomach spells. I was so afraid this would happen.

Why do the republicans seem to hate us so much?

There has to be a way, please, to keep trump and the republicans from hurting us like this.

I do not have the spoons to get on the phone and call my state senators. It is hard for me to talk on the phone. Very hard. Especially if people talk too fast and are rude and impatient with me.

God, if you are still on the throne, please don’t let them take our only safety net we have away. I don’t want to be forced to live either on the streets or in a nursing home where i could get abused again. I love my IHSS and the in home caregiver i have. I love being able to live in my own home. Don’t i have that right? Do they not realize we are human beings??? That they are hurting real human beings????

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I have just begun to fight. I can’t make phone calls, but as i have the spoons, i can write and post on the pages of our senators and representatives, and get the message out there that WE ARE HERE, we are real human beings, and we have a voice—-and it is LOUD!!!

They will NOT take our safety net away!!!!

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I am for a single payer Medicare for all, if it includes the ability for Disabled people to be able to have in home support services, like we now do on Medicaid.

They can call the new program Medicaid if they want—-either way, it should be all inclusive to cover, all medical care, vision care, dental care, in home support services, prescriptions, all of it. They can call it anything they want, just make it a single payer healthcare for all.

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Note to all in our House Of Congress:

If you run for the Office of congress to work for us, this means LISTENING to us, NOT SHUTTING US OUT AND SHUTTING AND LOCKING YOUR DOOR TO US!!!!

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I sincerely feel our country needs a whole new system of governance. The current two-party system and capitalism has failed us, miserably.

I also feel our country should be divided into provinces, like Canada is.

Rich people should be required to pay the most taxes, because they can afford it. This will provide money for infrastructure, education, college education, healthcare for all, decent, affordable housing for all, and a secure and expanded living safety net for all of those who are elderly, disabled, and veterans who fought for our country in wars that should not ever have been.

Tell Me I’m Exaggerating (CW: Inhuman hatred towards autistics, eugenics, swearing)

TW: The Holocaust, Eugenics, Hate Speech Against Autistics, Nazis, Trump

Reblogging this because i am Autistic, and i too have been gravely worried about just these very things, plus the possible loss of my Social Security, healthcare, in home support services,and my housing assistance now that Trump and the republicans are going to be in control.
Reblogging this because we need to mobilize and fight. Because we can tell the electoral college to vote him out when they make their vote on December 19th. it is clear who really won this election, via popular vote, and it was Hillary Clinton, not Trump.
Our lives, our very lives are at stake.
This blog needs to be read and shared widely!!

The Outcast Post

night My feelings after dealing with this conversation

(Yes, I did mention eugenics and hatred of autistics…if you’re autistic you may not want to continue…everyone else, keep going)

nazi2 This is eugenics. This is literally saying that scientific progress will lead to my kind no longer existing. In Nazi Germany and in the US first, disabled people were sterilized to prevent us from spreading our genes, and during the holocaust autistic kids were slaughtered…this vile woman wants that again.

I’m done.

So fucking done.

I have avoided calling the Alt Right and the people doing the hate crimes countrywide that I mentioned in Wait and see? Really? what they are in situations where I wanted to have some remnant of that acceptable activist shtick that I put on to be heard, been articulate so you don’t have to listen.

It’s the tone I had in We are not, the article I…

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Have Your Voice Heard!

Emma's Hope Book

For my Research and Writing English class this year I have to write a paper on a topic of my choice that weaves data and data analysis with factually based interpretation of that data. My research question for this paper is:  To what extent is it possible to compare the ways in which methods of communication are being taught to autistic students who cannot use spoken language to communicate their complex ideas?

Because many existing communication methods are underrepresented in most schools, I created a survey to find out what methods students use, what they are being taught to use and how successful each is.  Additionally I am curious to know whether a student’s school allows the communication method chosen by each student to be the most beneficial, and if not, how the student then communicates their complex thinking and knowledge.

This survey uses a google form and is completely anonymous.  You will…

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Am I Not A Human Being? Do I Not Have Rights? I Am Perishing Because Now My Police Dept. Is Ignoring Me

An open letter to my city police department and my city council,

I am what you would call a prisoner in my own home.

I am an Autistic, and physically Disabled adult with health issues that could kill me—-i am stuck here, housebound, and my own home is an almost 24/7 virtual actual torture chamber.

I could very well die if the police do not help me again. That is how severely upset i am getting every single day now, in my own home.

I am now left so upset, having meltdowns so severe that it affects my whole body, makes me physically sick to my stomach, and then i am unable to function for days after those meltdowns. Yet i am having these meltdowns every day all because of the loud hot rodding and loud thunder bass that i have to listen to daily right in front of my house.

“Oh, just get your parents to sound proof your middle room, and shut up!”—-yeah sure, so i can go hunker down in there like i am in a war bunker, and then i would never get fresh air and sunshine. Which all human beings NEED!!

What? Am i not a human being???

I have always had someone to talk to who has helped me at that police dept. the entire time i have had to live here. Now i have no one at that police dept, not even the ones who i used to call my friends and allies. Everyone at that police dept now ignores me.

All because i made the mistake of letting them know that as an Autistic, i latched onto both speed trailers they had here, and made imaginary friends out of them. I am being punished by the police, because well, that’s not normal to make imaginary friends out of objects. yes it is when your neurology is different, when you are Autistic. Many Autistic people latch onto things and get interested in them and then have to know all about those things. It’s called Autistic interests. For me, it has always been certain roads, highways, and electronic things, like stereos, my digital smart electric meter when they gave me one, and now the 2 speed trailers that the police placed on my street, because of the way the numbers go up and down, and flash the speed if it goes over the limit, as well as the bright red “SLOW DOWN” sign.

All i have asked is for my city councilperson to get the Lt. Commander to open up his phone to me again, to talk to me again. And to get me a beat coordinator who will be just like Jason was, who will actually see my plight and help me so i do not feel like a prisoner anymore in my own home.

My city council member will not hear me, or help me either.

There has to be an ADA office close enough who will help me, please, because i am under so much stress just because of the atrociously loud fast raceway outside of my house, with the loud hot rods, and loud thunder bass stereo systems that actually vibrate the whole inside of my head when they are on near me.

This noise goes from 7 in the morning until 8, 9, 10, sometimes even like last night, i had loud hot rods and bass at 2 :30 in the morning!!!

Tell me how it is right or fair that i am to just grow a pair, put up and shut up when this is my HOME??????

I hope the American With Disabilities Act office reads this. I hope TV stations will pick my story up and tell it finally.

I cannot live like this anymore. I just can’t do it.

My Go Fund Me, because i want to move where i know i will have local friends, and all the services i need.

https://www.gofundme.com/2ckkdc4